Up late again last night (you're shocked, I know) and I stumbled upon the Miles Davis story or one of them. I identified with his story on a lot of different levels because he just did his own thing. I struggled early with the "suits" I worked with because some were trying to tell me that I needed to sound like other people in order to get to where I needed to be. I needed to pick out whatever sound was popular, imitate that sound and then I could gain a following from that crowd. Once I gained the following I could then take people in any direction I wanted. Miles never did that. Miles played what was right for him. He worked with people who vibe like he did. The result was music that carried people in directions and moved them in modes they had never experienced before. Blows my mind that in his twenties he played with cats like Charlie "Bird" Parker and Dizzy Gillespie. Sorry... I drifted for a sec, LOL. Miles stated that he went to sleep thinking about music and woke up thinking about music and I've been that way as long as I can remember. I "feel" the music in my body (spirit?), literally feeling the fingers on the keyboard as the sound is created - inside me. Feels like there's this chasm inside me filled with sounds and ideas that I can't get to or more accurately haven't gotten to yet. The challenge is in the balance. There is balance in keeping my eyes on the Giver rather than getting lost in the gift. I see that a LOT. It's so easy to do. Luke 17:11-19 Jesus healed the ten lepers. FILLED them with the power of healing 'til it overflowed their incurable illness. And the majority of them focussed on the gift of the healing - rather than where that gift came from - save one. He turned back and glorified God for the gift. The result was this: nine of the lepers got healed. One of them was made WHOLE. Nine of them got their bodies taken care of. One of them got everything he ever needed.
This gift that God has given me is powerful and growing by the day. It unnerves me sometimes. Frightening at times because the presence of God overwhelms me. I crank out tracks as fast as I can and then move on to the next. I go back and listen to stuff I've done it knocks me over sometimes. But I won't get lost in the gift. I have to get lost in the Giver who gave me the gift. At the moment God seems to overfilling me with this. I'm just trying to pour it all out on you.