It's April and I haven't been posting. I do apologize. I know I have been promising an online performance for you guys and I haven't delivered on that either. I have been logging some crazy hours and it is eating up everything else that I have intended, but I haven't forgotten you guys.
Okay, the project is nearly finished. I'm awaiting the right mix on a song that I love. It HAS to be done right or it will cheapen the message behind it. The other thing is I am having second thoughts on which track comes out first. I was so looking forward to a particular track that I wasn't really listening to God about what I should do. Now that I have taken time to hear from God, I am retooling the spring release. No matter, the impact that the music you hear this year will be real. I am soooo stoked!
I struggled with self doubt and fear of not being enough for most of my life. Most people mistook my drive for ambition. It was just me trying to outrun my fear of being nothing. I learned something valuable recently. My fears came from a lack of trust in God.
Matthew 6:25-33 "Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you..."
My lack of faith in God drove my fear. I really have never had to protect myself or fend for myself. God always had the control. I just believed I had to rely solely on me. What I have realized now is that God is my portion. All that I have been striving for, I should have only been striving to get closer to him. Everything else will come.